July 18th 2014

           i've recently been thinking about how much i have changed over the past 10 years. personally i believe the changes are for the good & have impacted my life beyond what i could have imagined.  10 years ago i was 21, i had a good job, a nice car, i already had Alizé, Keyleigh & Azabella (they were all really young, Bell was only 12 weeks old at this time 10 years ago), i was living with my parents & had no hobbies other than the occasional scrap book page i would shittily throw together, lol. my life was busy but i would get bored often. i had friends to hang out with & i enjoyed drinking vodka & playing poker  with my friends & it was fun but thats not good everyday. if i was alone i was lost. i was relying on others to occupy my time & entertain me. i didn't workout, i ate anything & didn't care about being healthy or "eating to live". i'm not saying that i was unhappy then, just that i have changed.

           nowadays, i still have Alizé, Keyleigh & Azabella, now we have Osker too :) & i have a car, thats about all thats the same. i have a very full life now :) i occupy every second of everyday with things i enjoy, 8 years ago i became vegan (i read a lot of labels & actually know what i'm eating), i relearned to cook & bake so i could prepare healthy meals,  i learned to knit so that i would have a hobby :) & i started working out... gym style, lol. 7 years ago i learned to crochet because something i was knitting needed a crocheted border. so now i can make whatever i want, knitted or crocheted :D 5 years ago i got my 1st dance pole & started vertical fitness for my workout instead of the crappy gym style stuff. pole is bad ass & so much more fun that any other workout. 4 years ago for one of my birthday resolutions i decided i should read a book for fun (i'd never done that until then & it didn't sound fun but i wanted to make myself read something that wasn't required), i actually enjoyed the book & now i read all the time! like seriously almost everyday. i really like reading books about things like vampires & witches right now. i still drink but i don't drink hard liquor anymore, i like to be a little more sober than that, lol. i enjoy trying different craft beers now & actually tasting them, not really drinking to get drunk. the last major change i have noticed is that i have a schedule, i plan out every part of my day in a binder so no time is wasted & everything gets done. i have certain days for washing certain clothing color groups, certain days for bedding & towels. i seriously have everything on my schedule so i even have dusting, vacuuming window washing, cleaning bathrooms & polishing things on there. it helps me to get things done faster, nothing gets forgotten & it leaves me with a lot more time to do thing i love to do like read & craft.  basically i'm saying havent been bored in years! i know how to occupy my time without depending on other people. i know what i like & dislike, i know what i don't want to waste my time with.

ETA: i also try to focus on what i DO have, what i CAN do & what makes me happy,  instead of focusing on what i don't have, have lost, can't do or bad stuff.