doing me... why is that wrong?

in the past several months i have felt like i need to explain myself & what i do (or don't want to do) a whole lot. i am currently working, not the standard 9-5 but i am trying to make & sell things i knit & crochet. the first week i opened my shop i clocked 20 hours of hand crocheting & it has kept creeping up from there... now it's closer to 45 & i want to keep working more! i just have to get my wrist used to being used that much ;) i also have maintained my pole life, home chores (cooking & cleaning) & taking care of my babies. i have had to cut out somethings like talking on the phone so much, just like anyone would who had a job outside the home, & it's rare that i leave during the week but if i do it's to get supplies or to the PO box.. seriously like a 30 min trip out & it's back to work. i feel like i have been questioned about "why i am too busy" to do things a lot lately & i say i'm working on things & it's almost like i get laughed at :( i had a lot of guilt over it for awhile & i was kinda letting it get to me. then i started to think.. why do i feel the need to explain ANYTHING i do in MY life? it's stupid to feel that way & realized that i just need to buck up & say i don't owe anyone anything! not time, not a phone call... i am working! if i had a job outside the home i would have a boss telling me i couldn't be on the phone/hang out/whatever but since i don't, i have to be my boss & stick to a schedule, no matter who it hurts. it wouldn't hurt someone's feelings if i turned then down because i was at work (out side the home) now would it? nope! everyone would totally understand! the other thing is yes i do have some down time, of course! but i fill my down time up with pole, because it's my workout & hobby, evenings are filled with spending time with my hubby & pets... even though i work on things for my shop a lot in the evenings too ;) just because i don't have plans to go outside the house & waste time screwing around doesn't mean i would like to have plans. we are currently living off of 1 income (his) & until i get some business in my shop (of find an outside job) it's gonna be that way. jobs around here are super hard to come by so i'm kinda banking on selling things i've made. anyway, the point is that we don't have a ton of money to go out & drink & party all the time, i personally enjoy staying home & watching TV together & cooking dinner myself most of the time. we do go out one time a week & i think thats enough for me! sometimes hubby gets bored & wants to go do something else & then we do/can... of course! all i'm saying is i feel like i am constantly having to "make excuses" & come up with reasons to say no so i can work, or do what we want to do, to avoid hurt feelings & it's lame! this kinda sounds bad but you don't need to live to avoid hurting someones feelings or to make others happy! you need to live to make your life what you want it to be! no one is gonna do that for you so if you run around walking on eggshells & doing things you don't wanna do you are going to have a shitty life & never do anything YOU truly wanted to do! you have to make your life your own & if people get hurt feelings along the way then oh well. sounds so harsh but it's true! if i don't pick up the phone.... it's because i'm busy! if i don't want to hang out.... it's because i am busy! if i don't help you with something you can do on your own.... it's because i'm busy! get the drift? ;-)